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Futhi Ntshingila

@ Sunday Times Books LIVE

HOW MANY FRITZLS ARE OUT THERE PREYING ON THEIR DAUGHTERS?

HOW MANY FRITZLS ARE OUT THERE PREYING ON THEIR DAUGHTERS?

What of the daughters? Who is to protect them when their mothers are too weak and terrified to stand up for them? Could it be love that blinds these mothers from seeing the monsters who sleep next to them at night? Is it helplessness? Are they co-conspirators in such crimes?

What of the children born out of such violations? Born to witness violence, ugliness and weakness? Should such fathers be called animals? But what animal rapes? Do animals rape each other? Should they growl and take offence on being equated to rapists?

How many are they? These things in the form of men? These things with inhuman thoughts and plots for their own flesh and blood? What have the girls done wrong to deserve such heavy punishment?

These are the questions that came to mind when I read that yet another man and his son have been busy raping their own flesh and blood for decades. It is nauseating to read these stories that are far stranger than the fiction we use to make sense our realities. It churns my stomach, it is beyond sick.

 

Recent comments:

  • <a href="http://fionasnyckers.book.co.za" rel="nofollow">Fiona</a>
    Fiona
    March 29th, 2009 @19:24 #
     
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    It churns my stomach too, Futhi. Do you think that these men suffered abuse themselves as children? Or did they grow up in an environment where females were commodified and violence was normalised? Or is it just pure, free-floating evil?

    I wish I knew the answer to these questions, and would love to hear your opinion.

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  • <a href="http://margieorford.book.co.za" rel="nofollow">Margie</a>
    Margie
    March 29th, 2009 @21:25 #
     
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    I think it is pure, free-floating patriarchy. taking the social acceptance of the control of women - daughters - to a chillingly logical extreme. And yes, I share with Futhi the incomprehension at the mothers and others who do not intercede. it seems infantile, an abrogation of one's moral responsiblity as an adult, not to take action. Being afraid for oneself does not seem much of a justification.

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  • <a href="http://helenmoffett.book.co.za" rel="nofollow">Helen</a>
    Helen
    March 29th, 2009 @22:27 #
     
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    I fear that Margie is right. When I researched this (not an experience I want to repeat) the info that kept coming up was that men who raped children often did so to punish the adult mother; their rage at and contempt for the mother extended to the child. The mothers, in some cases, were themselves abused to the extent that they were no longer socially and morally functional, with the double whammy that escalating abuse would spill over to the kids, and the mother would be too beaten down to prevent it. Although some women are indeed complicit. And I agree Futhi, anyone who likens humans to animals is insulting the animal kingdom.

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  • <a href="http://futhintshingila.book.co.za" rel="nofollow">Futhi</a>
    Futhi
    March 30th, 2009 @10:24 #
     
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    The truth is a part of me doesn't want to find out what makes an adult use force over a child because it seems to me that it is inexcusable. But the key is with mothers to raise the alarm bells and call for support in their communities.

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  • <a href="http://wgt.book.co.za" rel="nofollow">Ndaba</a>
    Ndaba
    March 30th, 2009 @11:25 #
     
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    Some of the mothers,bury the these chilling crimes of rape under the carpet, protecting their husbands because these offenders are the only breadwinners they depend upon.Hence, some women are complicit.Rape is a moral, social and economic curse.

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  • <a href="http://liesljobson.bookslive.co.za" rel="nofollow">Liesl</a>
    Liesl
    March 30th, 2009 @11:26 #
     
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    In the year since the news about the Fritzl family erupted, a number of similar cases have been reported in Scotland, Sheffield, Poland, Italy and now Columbia. Free-floating evil or free-floating patriarchy? It's entirely beyond my comprehension however you explain it.

    This most recent case raises a profound sense of gratitude for the kindly, smart and respectful men in my life - my father and husband, son and cousin, doctors, colleagues and friends.

    Thank you for the ways you look out for me, encourage me to reach my full potential and help me be well in the world.

    Thank you to all the good men who find a way around patriarchy to enable and empower the women in their lives.

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  • <a href="http://futhintshingila.book.co.za" rel="nofollow">Futhi</a>
    Futhi
    March 30th, 2009 @12:48 #
     
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    Yes, the saving grace in all this is the good men we have in our lives. My father has four daughters, four granddaughters and no sons. I honestly have never heard him complain. He is the spoilt man of the house :)

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  • <a href="http://helenmoffett.book.co.za" rel="nofollow">Helen</a>
    Helen
    March 30th, 2009 @15:11 #
     
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    Before I began researching rape, I had to be certain I wouldn't veer off onto a vendetta against half the human race. I was lucky to be surrounded by so many humane, decent, honourable, loving men. When I feel despair, it helps to recite all the names of the good men I know -- try it, just the ones that blog here would make a great start -- there's this wonderfully comforting moment when I realise I could go on all day.

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